Author: Larry Dierker

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 4 ● at Cincinnati, vs Reds

I left my shaving kit in Houston. This wouldn’t be such a big deal if I didn’t have pills in it that I have to take every day. Two are for the heart problem I had last year. I think I was supposed to take them for a year, and the year is up, but I haven’t called the doctor about it; we have hardly been in town long enough to go see him.

I’m not real worried about it, because it was a freak thing: pericarditis, or inflammation of the sac surrounding the heart. They got rid of the inflammation and never found a reason for its occurrence. Said it must have been a virus. At any rate, I was given the OK to resume full workouts, and I have not had any more symptoms.

The other medicine is for depression. Actually, the symptom I get is anxiety attacks, which I certainly cannot afford in this job.

It started in the spring of 1977, my last year as a player. The medicine knocked it out right away. When I got myself settled into a post-playing routine, I stopped taking the medicine, and I started getting dizzy spells, so I started taking the medicine again. A few years later, I tried again. Same thing.

But last summer, when I was hospitalized with the pericarditis, I stopped the medicine again, with no dizziness. I thought I was through with the problem until one night in San Diego about a month later. Right at the end of the game, I had an attack in the broadcasting booth.

I got through the end of the game, but then my heart started racing and my blood pressure went up. I knew what it was, but I was afraid to get on a bus and a plane and fly three hours in that condition. They sent me to the emergency room, and after an hour or so I was all right.  When I got back to Houston, I went back on the medicine. Everything has been fine since. But I don’t want to miss my daily dose anymore.

I don’t really think a day or two would make any difference, but I don’t want to test it. I called Judy to FedEx the shaving kit, and it should be here in the morning.

They had a book fair at Fountain Square, across from our hotel. This is my weakness: I buy way more books than I can ever read.

Mostly, I like novels. Classics, modern and historical. No pulp fiction, no mysteries. Just good books by good writers.

I am just about finished with The Shipping News. It has been mildly disappointing. I find the protagonist to be almost the same guy I remember from A Confederacy of Dunces. One big difference: The Dunce was in New Orleans and this guy Quoyle is in Newfoundland.

I have been to New Orleans, and I have not visited Newfoundland. I presume, however, that these two places could only have been put on this planet by a quixotic God. You don’t need poetic license when you set your story in these locales.

Oddly enough, I bought no books here. There was mostly popular stuff: best-sellers, mysteries, science fiction. I would probably like these books too, and that’s why I’m afraid to try them.

I’ve got Miami, a Beat Generation book by Joan Didion, with me on this trip. I’m not sure I will like it, but it’s a short read. I’m putting off Ancient Evenings and The Mask of Apollo, hoping to find something on the light side.

I could go to Bruce Chatwin’s On the Black Hill, but his stuff is heavy with philosophy. I would prefer a new Kinsella, or maybe the last book of Cormac McCarthy’s Border Trilogy, but they aren’t out yet. I may have to read 92 in the Shade in paperback if I can’t find it in hardback soon.

I couldn’t find the right book today, but I found something far more precious: a win on the road. After two good early road trips, we have hit the skids. Need to get that confidence back, and with rookie Chris Holt coming off two bashings, I was concerned. The last time we faced Dave Burba here, he pitched a one-hit shutout.

That possibility ended in the top of the first, when Thomas Howard hit a home run. In the bottom of the inning, Deion Sanders made Holt throw eight pitches and then singled to right. I thought about pitching out on the first pitch, but I didn’t.

Deion Sanders

Good thing: Sanders ran, and Ausmus threw him out. When you throw this guy out without a pitchout, it discourages all thoughts of larceny. 

Ausmus has been such a boon to our pitching staff! The way he throws, we don’t have to pitch out much. We can dare most runners to steal. Sure, they make it half the time. But that’s not a good-enough rate to justify the risk.

Most teams don’t run much against us, which allows our pitchers to concentrate on getting hitters out.

Chris worked a rapid-fire game and gave up only a solo home run in seven innings. We got enough runs to win in the game in the third when the Reds elected to pitch to Bagwell with runners on second and third and two outs.

Give Bagwell an assist from González; Luis has been hot lately. I know Ray Knight was aware of this. If he was not hitting so well, Ray would have walked Bagwell for sure. Instead, he sent pitching coach Don Gullett out to talk to Burba.

This is something I would not do. I have a sign for my catchers to pitch around a hitter. Our pitchers are instructed how to do this.

When I was pitching, I didn’t want the pitching coach or the manager bothering me. If I felt good, I wanted to stay in rhythm. Can you imagine how Ray would feel if the hitting coach came out while he was hitting, and had a conference with him to tell him what to do? It doesn’t make any sense.

I’m not saying our pitchers will always pitch around hitters successfully, but I believe they will do better if they just get a sign from the catcher and then work the hitter on their own.

Anyway, Bagwell hit a double and we went up 3-0. It was 5-1 when we took out Holt. José Lima was shaky. He gave up a home run and a single in the ninth, and we had to get the last out with Wagner. I hope Billy will be available tomorrow, but he may not.

Well, at least we got the first one. That makes it a whole lot easier. I might not write it that way if I were doing a novel. But this is real life.

Baseball, it has been said, is a metaphor of life. If this is true, this journal may be stranger than fiction in the end. 

TUESDAY, JUNE 3 ● Houston, vs Dodgers

Short night for the weary. Home at 11:30. Packed by 12:15. Asleep by 1:30. Cubby arrived at 9 a.m. Whomever made this schedule has surely never traveled the baseball circuit. The computer may tell them it’s possible, but anyone who knows would tell them it’s beyond difficult.

Darryl Kile finished second in the May Player of the Month voting. He was 5-0 with a 1.20 ERA. I felt pretty good about his chances to beat Pedro Astacio. 

D.K. didn’t have great command. In fact, home plate umpire Terry Tata didn’t call one curve ball a strike in the seven-plus innings Darryl worked. Most of the pitches were, indeed, balls. But I have to believe some were in the strike zone.

This makes two games in a row where I feel we have gotten the short end of Tata’s stick. Do I think he’s sticking it to us? Hell, no. He’s not out to get us, any more than Jim Quick is. It just seems that way at times.

We might be wrong, anyway. Tata certainly has a better vantage point than we do. Still, sometimes it just looks like their pitcher is getting strike calls on borderline pitches, and our pitcher is not. Luckily, D.K. is so confident that he pitched a great game anyway.

Pitching	IP	H	R	ER	BB	SO	HR	ERA
Darryl Kile	7	7	3	3	5	5	0	2.27
Blas Minor, BS (1)	0.2	0	0	0	1	1	0	0.00
Russ Springer	1.1	2	0	0	0	2	0	2.03
Mike Magnante, W (1-0)	1	1	0	0	0	1	0	0.00
Team Totals	10	10	3	3	6	9	0	2.70

Provided by Baseball-Reference.com

The win got away from him in the eighth inning when our new pitcher, Blas Minor, came in with men on second and third and no outs and a 3-2 lead. He got a strikeout and a groundout that tied the game. Russ Springer came in and got the last out, but we failed to score in the bottom of the eighth.

Springer lucked-out in the ninth. With one out and a 1-2 count, Nelson Liriano broke from first, and Mike Piazza lined a shot into the right field corner. Liriano should have scored for sure, but he didn’t look back to pick up the ball off the bat. As he approached second, Biggio ran to the bag and hollered for the ball. Liriano slid in, and by the time he realized what had happened, he had to stop at third. He would have scored from first if he had not been running.

As it turned out, he did not score. The Dodgers are struggling worse than we are.

It was another blow to them — and a lesson, I hope, for Biggio. He insists that he cannot run as fast to second on a steal if he looks back to see the pitch go through the hitting zone. The coaching staff disagrees. How much time could you lose with a brief glance back, compared to the information you can gain if you look?

Earlier in the series, Brett Butler stole on a wild pitch. If he had looked back, he could have continued to third. Instead, he had to stop at second.

After the game, I went up to Bidge and said, “Great decoy. See what happens when you don’t look back to pick up the ball?” He smiled. I hope it made an impression, but I doubt it. His view of the game is about as flexible as the Rock of Gibraltar.

Mike Magnante

Mike Magnante, our other new pitcher, got them out in the tenth. Then with two out in the bottom of the inning, as we came close to the end of our pitching resources, Jeff Bagwell hit a home run to win the game. What a feeling! As he crossed home plate, teammates were beating him about the head like a World Series hero.

           

On the airplane to Cincinnati, I asked Gonzo if he had packed the monkey. “No,” he said. “But we have the tape.”

I don’t know what the tape is, but if we don’t win here, I’m calling Federal Express. Not that I’m superstitious, or anything like that.

MONDAY, JUNE 2 ● Houston, vs Dodgers

My mother is going to the hospital for the installation of a pacemaker today. What a trouper! Rick suggested that she move her appointment back, but she would have none of it. Her heartbeat has been slow — especially in the morning. She has had this appointment since before Dad died. Rick speculated that it may have been a factor in his stroke: “He may have thought he was losing her, and couldn’t stand the prospect of living alone. You know how he worried.”

Ironically, I had been thinking that my managing might have been a factor, what with all the close games. I was thinking that it was a mistake to get him the satellite dish. He was nervous enough about our games when I was announcing.

Anyway, Mom is not one to put things off. Rick tells me that whenever she isn’t crying, she is going through books and records, making appointments with brokers, bankers, and accountants — that she is trying to get on with her life.

“The great thing is that Dad left everything in perfect order,” he said. “Everywhere she looks, she finds more money. And the books are all in order. No surprise, with Dad.”

I speculated that it would not be so simple for Judy and Susan when Rick and I kick off. He laughed, but then he mentioned that it would probably be easier for them than us, because they keep the records.

I gave Vern a call, and he said that he didn’t mind sending Hudek out if he had options. He also believes John is close to getting the feel back, and he doesn’t want to lose him on a waiver claim. When I talked to Gerry, he assured me that this wouldn’t happen. I guess I’ve got a tough job ahead of me tonight.

SUNDAY, JUNE 1 ● Houston, vs San Diego

Drayton has been in attendance this weekend. We sure picked a good time to stink up the place. Seventy-five-thousand people saw us go to the slaughter. I guess that’s the last we’ll see of most of them. Drayton is the guy who really counts, and he will be back. And he will be quite upset if we don’t start winning.

The game today is critical if we are going to gain momentum on this homestand. I thought we might pick up some steam in San Francisco, and let it out on the Padres at home. But the Padres, who had collapsed in a heap of injuries, are healthy now and are anxious to prove it.

Mike Hampton pitched his best game of the year by far, and it still wasn’t enough. In the eighth inning, he had a 3-0 lead and the seventh-place hitter, Carlos Hernandez, coming up. Mike got ahead in the count and threw a fastball up-and-in. Hernandez fisted it into right field for the Padres’ second hit of the game.

Quilvio Veras followed with a double down the left-field line. Before we could get the bullpen ready, Tony Gwynn hit a pinch single to left and it was 3-2.

While Russ Springer was rushing to get ready, Hampton struck out Archi Cianfrocco. I sensed that this was his last gasp. I brought in Springer, who came to the rescue by fanning Wally Joyner. At this point, Steve Finley was the hitter, and I knew Bruce Bochy would not pinch-hit for him.

I brought in Wagner. Four more outs. I was confident he could save the day.

Finley sent a single to left, and Bill and I sank lower in our seats in a collective sigh. Ken Caminiti, last year’s MVP and a switch-hitter, came to the plate. Wagner and Caminiti battled to a full count.

After several foul balls, Cammy hit a chopper down the third-base line. All Bill Spiers had to do was catch it and step on the bag, but fate intervened. The ball hit something in the dirt cutout around third and skidded under Spiers’ glove. One moment it was bouncing, the next it was rolling. There was nothing Billy could have done to make the play. Both runners scored, and the Padres had the lead. They added two runs in the ninth, and that’s how it ended: 6-3.

Afterward, I bristled in front of the reporters for the first time.

“That was a tough way to lose,” one of them said.

“Yes, that’s about as tough as it gets. Nobody did anything wrong. We played a good game and lost on a fateful hop. It’s frustrating. I am especially upset that Mike Hampton didn’t get the win after his fine effort. That really could have built his confidence.

“But it’s frustrating from a team standpoint too. We need to get back in a winning mode, and a loss like this makes it hard to believe that things are going to go your way. I’m sure Spiers is frustrated. Wagner, too. It was just a frustrating game all the way around.” 

At this point, a reporter asked, “how frustrating is it, since you were playing the Padres?”

This is where I went off.

“I think I’ve already answered that question,” I said. “And what’s wrong with the Padres? They have Gwynn, Finley, Caminiti, Joyner. They have good pitching, and they won their division last year, even though they had a stretch where they lost 17 out of 19 games. They’re down in the standings now, but they don’t believe they will stay down. And I don’t, either.

“It’s frustrating to lose, but not because it’s the Padres. It’s just frustrating in general. How do you want me to ‘rate’ frustrating, anyway? On a scale of 10? I mean, how many grades of ‘frustrating’ are there?”

The press has been really good to me this year, and I’m lucky they didn’t try to exploit this situation. They seemed to draw back a little and give me some space. At this point, I needed it.

We went over to a friend’s house for dinner and watched Game 1 of the NBA playoffs between the Bulls and the Jazz. It was a great game, and Ryan enjoyed sporting activities with their three boys.

When we got home, around 11 o’clock, I had a message to call Gerry. I was excited at the prospect of good news. He has been trying to make a deal involving Listach, and I was hoping he had pulled it off.

It turned out to be another sort of deal. Gerry wanted to send John Hudek to New Orleans and call up Blas Minor. We had a long conversation about it, and I didn’t go to the wall for John, but I did state my opinion that although he has been hit around some lately, I think he is close to getting straightened out.

We didn’t decide anything; just agreed that I would talk to Vern in the morning and call him later on.

Man, oh man! A three-game losing streak and all hell breaks loose. We are only a game-and-a-half out of first place, but we have not played well for a month. We are reaching Gerry’s flash point faster than mine. I’m sure he is feeling accountable to Drayton. Drayton is big on accountability.

SATURDAY, MAY 31 ● Houston, vs San Diego

Gerry and I met with Howard today, prior to batting practice; it went well.

Gerry asked if the real Thomas Howard was going to show up this year. He said it with a smile, so it didn’t seem too intimidating. But he went on to say that we thought we were getting a good all-around player, and that what we see instead is a guy who looks like he’s going through the motions — satisfied to play once in a while and mostly pinch-hit. He emphasized that we really need him now, with Bobby out.

Thomas admitted that he was not playing well and was not focused. He said that his failed marriage was a part of it.

“I’ve never been alone before, without my wife and kids,” he said. “And this is a new team and a new city. The guys on the team are great, and I really want to stay here and do well here, but I’m just not comfortable yet.”

I mentioned the weight thing.

“You know, Tank,” I said. “I remember you as a good outfielder and fast baserunner. And I don’t remember you as big as you are now. I’m not saying that you’re fat, but just than you might gain some speed and flexibility if you lose a little weight. I am saying this as much for you as for me.

“We thought about getting Dave Clark, because of his lefthanded bat. But we went for you instead, because of your all-around game. I don’t know if you noticed how late Dave signed with the Cubs, and how little money he got, for a veteran player.

“It’s so important to maintain your skills. If you play lean and mean, you will get a couple more years out of your body, and a couple million more dollars for your retirement. You are not an old player, and you will play a few more years regardless. But you only have one shot at a career, and I want to see you maximize it — whether you are with us, or with someone else.

As I talked, he nodded his head. When I finished, he said he thought he was putting too much pressure on himself; that he just needed to relax and that it would help him to know when he was going to play.

I will try to let him know ahead of time in the future, but I still don’t believe he is really putting too much pressure on himself; I think he is disgruntled because we signed Gonzalez and played Abreu.

When he signed with us, it looked like he would be used in a platoon role at the very least. He probably thought he would get a chance to start most of the games. When we got Gonzo, he probably realized it would be more of the same.

The life of a fourth outfielder in the big leagues is a good one, but every player would prefer to be a starter. I think, knowingly or unknowingly, Tank accepted his fate and lost his vigor — he let himseIf slip slightly out of shape, and he is paying the price.

I also believe him to be an intelligent guy, and I hope he is smart enough to get the message. He’s going to play a lot, now that Bobby is hurt. If he steps it up a bit, we will be fine, and he will maintain his value.

I felt good about the meeting. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it might be. But it may get more difficult again shortly.

Gerry is not the most patient guy in the world. Fact is, he is about as patient as …

Yesterday he met a guy who is even more impatient: Chucky Carr. Gerry signed him to a contract and sent him to New Orleans.

Chucky is perhaps the most-unpopular player since Ty Cobb. He has been with seven teams in his eleven-year career; none would take him back. Chucky is one of the fastest players in the game, so he keeps getting chances to clean up his act — an act that features him as the announcer and star performer in his own solo show in center field and at the plate.  

Carr with Florida

Most players enjoy the spotlight occasionally. Most of them realize, however, that this is a team sport. Chucky hasn’t figured this out yet.

Cubby and Mac were in New York, where the Chucky Tour made a brief stop. Because Gerry was with the Mets then too, they figured he would know better. But Gerry also knows that we aren’t scoring, and one way to win when the offense is weak is to play better defense.  Chucky would instantly improve our defense; he is a terrific centerfielder. His problem is that he has never been able to hit enough to stay in the lineup.

Gerry feels that Chucky has been humbled to the point where he might actually notice that he’s on a team — that he might be able to coexist now, because he doesn’t have much choice.

I would like his speed on my bench. He could come in and steal a base; he could play late-inning defense in the outfield. I would be astonished if he could hit well enough to become an everyday player, though stranger things have happened.

Gerry says it will be ten days to two weeks before we will make a decision.

We really had a good crowd tonight: almost 40,000 fans came out to see us try to jump over the Pirates and reclaim first place.

I was ready for the real Shane Reynolds to appear. If the guy I saw pitching tonight is the real Shane, we are in big trouble.

Trey Beamon

He opened his performance with an 82 MPH fastball, and Cianfrocco doubled down the left field line. Trey Beamon, an outfielder who couldn’t even make the Pirates’ lineup last year, singled to left. Then Finley singled. The inning finally ended when Sterling Hitchcock grounded to third.

Shane’s top velocity was 85 MPH. He normally pitches at 88-89 with his fastball. At that velocity, he can be an All-Star; at 85, he can’t pitch in the major leagues.

To his credit, he kept throwing strikes — and some of the hits were weak — but it was still humiliating, to say the least. Shane is supposed to be the ace of our staff, and he just signed a lucrative four-year deal.

In truth, it is more than humiliating: it’s just plain scary.

Bagwell hit another home run tonight. He now leads the league with 17 homers and 52 RBI. This is rather remarkable, considering that he hits third in our lineup, and we have had no production whatsoever from our two-hole hitters. Still, it’s small consolation when you use up your whole bullpen in a 12-5 thrashing.